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  • Dr. Sonal Keswani

The By Products of Feminism

Updated: Mar 11

The women’s liberation movement from the 1960's was meant to be a way for women to claim their power, not a way to create suppression of men. Somehow that turned into women trying to be men, giving up their essence as women and stripping men of their power. So what we have now is a generation of women who feel like they’re less for being a woman, that it's somehow necessary to function like men or that if they want everything then they’ve got to do it all on their own and men who are resentful of women because they've been made wrong or evil for simply being men.


I predominantly work with healing people and in the last few years there’s been a massive rise in the cases of women with PCOS, breast cancer, uterine fibroids, cervical carcinoma, hashimoto's, other thyroid issues, diseases that are predominantly a result of imbalanced hormones and even the smaller things like irregular menstrual cycles. Clearly what we started has not only had a negative impact on the women, on men but also on our bodies.

It would make any curious person start to question what we are creating as a society. Why are we creating dis-ease/unease in everything that we associate with being women?


I was myself diagnosed with PCOS 5 years ago, the doctor said this was normal, I didn’t have to do anything about it and that its very common for women my age to have this in today's date and that mine wasn’t severe enough to do anything about.

There wasn’t much I was required to do about it medically, its also unfortunate that we are at a point where this is normal or okay medically but my body had done a good job of bringing something much deeper to my notice. Our bodies are cool like that if you listen.


So I followed that rabbit hole, did a lot of self and body healing not realizing then what I was actually healing. Here I am years later with my body in great condition, my PCOS healed but left with the realization of how much resentment towards being a woman I have been carrying and healing from the people around me and have been conditioned with.


It took years of me fighting my mother and father, being frustrated about the women I deeply loved and cared for around me becoming harsh, shutting down my own emotions and hardening up myself, dealing with men who were confused about their role as men or pressurized by and very deeply entrenched into traditional gender roles, wanting to tear both men and women apart for not choosing to be in their power, a great deal of anger, being attracted to assholes because at least they were representing some of the masculinity I desperately desired and then also meeting some of the most BEAUTIFUL men and women who helped me heal and gave me the space to become everything I desired to create myself as.


I’m writing this today to put out the following messages:


1. It’s not your job to heal the hatred towards women out of the world, out of your parents, out of your friends, out of your lovers at the cost of your bodies.

2. You also don’t have to fight it. When you fight you have already made the thing outside of you greater and more powerful. No hatred is greater than your ability to transmute it. And the hatred you feel whether you’re a man or a woman is NOT yours, you’re just highly highly aware and highly highly conditioned.

3. Get to what is true for you, what sort of world do you desire to live in? What sort of relationship would you like to see exist among men and women going forward? And what sort of relationship would you like with yourself, with the masculine and feminine aspects of you?

4. Acknowledge that the hatred and resentment exists. Become aware of where it exists in you, towards what aspects of you, in your subtle actions on a daily basis and heal that. Bringing something to light automatically starts the process of change.

5. Your vulnerability, your softness, your gentleness, your receptivity is a strength, it is NOT a weakness. Emotional intelligence is attractive in both men and women.

6. To the men: women do not hate you, they are in pain. The pain of either feeling powerless or unsupported, how do we as a society work through this?

7. To the women: you do not have to become like men to be successful, just ask for support when you feel like you have too much on your plate. You’re not weak or less than for asking. You are not less than just cos you're a woman. And what would be different if you didn’t feel the need to constantly prove otherwise?


Who am I to say all this? Definitely not an expert and I may even be biased with a lot of my perspective but I am someone who desires a world where everyone is empowered, happy, healthy and free. Powerlessness is not attractive in men or women. I would like a world where we don't exist within these polarities, where people can show up as being more masculine or feminine or both based on what works for them and where there isn't resentment towards either aspect. I'd like a world where people are empowered as whoever they choose to show up as without having to conform to stereotypical gender roles and shamed for not living up to them as if that somehow makes them less of a man or woman.


Here’s some videos I would recommend watching to get clarity on where we are as men and women today, and how to start to heal our relationship with everything we associate as feminine if only just for the sake of our bodies:

https://youtu.be/dCRM2gMHY1o

https://youtu.be/KGVLdZ62OLI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzYzFxw8AMU



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